Letting Go

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At some point
There comes a time
When I cannot order
Any more wedding related
Items on Amazon.

Even if for no other
Reason than the wedding
Precedes any of the speediest shipping.

There comes a time when
I must accept what
The two-years-in-planning
Will provide
For two nights of celebration

I find myself up for
Hours in the middle of the
Night, this week prior to the DAY, puzzling
Over this tumultuous time
Of both
Letting go of one era
And embracing a new me.

Wedding Lament

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With two years’ worth of work and preparation,

 

am I going to discover

 

i am a tattered, unable to socialize mess on the wedding weekend?

 

i feel like this wedding is one more hurdle to overcome, rather than a fun party.

 

Worries that so much could go wrong

 

that I will commit an unrecoverable faux pas!

 

Ach!  I have nerves!

Content

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Is there an end to being

Content to be

 

Is there a beginning

In the fight to stand

On my own

 

Is there a continuation

To my darkest days

 

Somewhere later

When I’m dust

 

I awake

And find

That anger that angst

 

I would be content to be saddled with that.

 

 

Silence is golden?

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To explain my probable general silence on this blog for the month of June: I’m really endeavoring to improve my Technology skills—I’m taking an online “iPads in the classroom” class this June.  So I am constantly checking the Discussion Board and trying to do the assignments.

 

Also, all last minute preparations are happening for my pending HUGE EVENT in my life: my marriage to the man I love.  I’m trying to keep the mindset that it will be a great party – and to not STRESS too much.

 

Also, since school finally ended – we had to make up extreme weather days til June 6, 2014!  That last week stretched out mercilessly.

 

Needless to say, now I have more “day-time” time now—and I’m going to “pick up” tennis again.  I played high school and college tennis, and some here and there post-college.  But it’s been awhile.  Hopefully I won’t look too foolish.

 

So please bear with me as I approach this month of June with both trepidation and joy.

the dead

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I think of the dead.

But I do not think of them as dead.

Neither in my thoughts

Nor in my dreams.

I believe I am not aware enough

Of the earth’s “rocking the death in herself.”

I initially feel this a failure.

But then I grow to think

That the image is a passing thought

Like all my passing thoughts.

And I feel a lightness, inside

For just a moment

Because I know what I think

And I feel what I believe

the earth rocks

the earth rocks

Quote from Sophia De Mello Breyner, p.7 The Vintage Book of Contemporary World Poetry, Ed. By McClattchy, J.D.

This too shall pass

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The last few weeks of school are always difficult. This year, I’m preparing for our wedding, and at the same time, trying to get the last onslaught of books from kids. If only the rock that feels like is lodged in the right side of my brain would go away. I’m trying my best in the face of what seems like insurmountable odds. I say, as the proverb so wisely states:

This too shall pass.