But not wanting to go

Too deep.


I want to stand on the fishes.



As per usual.

Am I just not as good?



Tears threaten my surface



Which is why standing on fishes is a very good way to go.


Surface composure is only that.

Angling for more will scare the fishes

Away from me.


And then I’ll be left.



Honestly I think drowning

Is more involved with

Being without self-confidence.


If I can believe in myself,

Maybe those fishes will stay with me.

Towering Curiosity


I feel in my head

My increasing sensitivity to outer world phenomena


I internalize

Get depressed

Insulate myself further


Meanwhile I have a very few in my life whom I love,

And who love me

Lucky? Beyond that


Meanwhile my physical health

Feels tenuous

And it is now the Time of the Month


When one difficulty occurs

They all congeal to my body my brain

Til I feel like the Leaning Tower of Pisa: a curiosity


Meanwhile I have to make a living

Earn insurance for my aches my conundrums

Absenteeism becomes a cause for concern


As I cough and sip a keurig tea

While I write

I feel like I fight more than I would like


Internally, that is

So intense that my brain is leaning



How does the Pisa Tower do it?

How can I also an oddity do the expected

All the while I feel unbalanced.